My heart cries out for Mark and Ross

 I am pouring out my heart and prayers again on the behalf of Miracle Mark and Precious Ross. They are both still needing different healing touches from the Father tonight. Both have families who are faithful to the kingdom and giving thanks for every milestone they have reached. Mark has made huge healing strides over the last 9 months and his mom's faithful thankfulness inspires anyone who reads the caring bridge or meets their family. 

For Ross his 8 month journey has been a tough battle but reading how sweet of a fighter he has been is beyond words. He carries hope eternal from the Father into each person he meets on his journey.  I am glad that families facing these difficult times have a way to update all those who care in one place.

God is using the tools of the internet to spread the recording of His healing power, His peoples praises and hope even during difficult times. When Kimber was in the battle if I wanted to update it was by phone or if I got home an email. It was difficult to keep up with her needs and ask for prayer and give praise.

So it is on that note that I share the prayer of my heart for these 2 young men:

Father, I come boldly to your throne of grace on behalf of Ross and his family.
Because you have instructed us in your Word to pray for one another that we may be healed.

I pray for healing and wholeness for Ross and Mark. I pray that sickness and infirmity will have no place or power in his life. I pray against any infection or disease coming into his body, your Word says" He sent his Word and healed them. "(Psalm 107:20)

Where ever there is disease, illness or infirmity in his body, I pray and ask you Lord that you would touch him with your healing power and restore him to total health. Give the doctors wisdom and full knowledge of the best way to proceed.

Thank you Lord that you suffered and died for us so that we might be healed. I lay claim to that heritage of healing which you have promised in your Word and provide to all who believe. I thank you father and look to you for your will be done. In your son Jesus Name Amen, Amen

Isaiah 58:8, James 5:16, Malachi 4:2


The prayer above is from the Power of a Praying Parent...By Stormie Omartian
God has gifted her the words straight from him for me to agree and speak out load over my family and any other person God lays on my heart to pray for. When the burning to pray wells up and I lack the words I go to her prayer books to get me started. I am truly seeking God and laying the family of new friend from Missouri at the feet of Jesus. I am so thankful to stand in the gap for her precious grandson.

As I know someone had to of done the same for Kimber when she was his age. I also believe in Jesus's Name bringing healing, speak His name and surround the room and even hospital that Ross is in with the ministering angles to guard and protect Ross from any evil that comes to devour, kill, steal or destroy Ross, his parents and extended family and friends.

We must all remember that this battle is spiritual as well as physical. We as the body of Christ need each other. Continue to play the sounds of worship and healing over those who are ill. In the old testament the worshipers always went before the warriors to prepare the atmosphere for battle. I like to play the healing sounds from Julie True Soaking Worship.

Right now, why don’t you remove all the distractions around you, close your eyes, and just take a few minutes to soak in God’s Presence. Don’t just listen to the words that are being sung, but let them be an expression of your own heart. Let go of all your worries, turn off the question machine in your head, and just let God wash over you with His Healing Love. 

http://julietrue.com/online-healing-room

Relax, everything’s going to be all right;
Rest, everything’s coming together;
Open your hearts, love is on the way!
~ From the Message, pg. 515

 Always in Love with My Savior and King,

Sonya

Attitude of my Changing Heart

Lots going on with so many of our friends and our family not bad, horrible, or even terrible. Just many attempts by the enemy to get us off track in our mood, thoughts, emotions, and actions. 

Stand Firm, Pray, Worship, Thankful to God for all the blessings & trials in the life. God is good, faithful, loving, rescuer, provider, redeemer, & Savior. 

Life is a journey & mine never ends I will praise & worship in heaven for eternity!

I am up praying for so many who are facing different trials in this season. I am facing some of the same trials I faced almost 12 years ago. I am praying and trying so much more faithful to stay tuned into the Father and looking to him to be Radiant Grace with comfort and keep mind in a healthy attitude of thankfulness for being a child of the Most High God. I do fail at this sometimes but I get back up and go for it again.

I look around and think of how without Jesus and the protection, grace, mercy, and boundless love from the Father I would be like some people who have no hope. This world will bring you down and destroy you if that is where you reside. The darkness cannot be your focus. You must focus on the LIGHT and love from the father. Then you will be able to stand and not be destroyed. Even though some may look at me  or other around you and think whatever they have it great.

I can assure you we have trials, trouble and bad moods, bad days, bad moments, and yes even what some would call tragedy. We may even call it that but then we gather ourselves back up to the chest of the Savior and it changes our view and perspective.  I may never know or understand why I have endured the many different things I have endured. I may never see or know the fruit of how I have affected a life. I can only know that God my Father keeps saving and loving on me and it has to have a purpose. And knowing that is good enough for me.

Even if I never the cool story or the ripple I help Him create. As long as I keep leaning in to listen to what the Father is saying and doing my best to be and do what the Father wants me to do. Then I can count it all Joy in Heaven for eternity when it will all come into very Perfect view and I will see and know why he asked the things he asked me do. Why I had to endure the pain, suffering, loss and trials of this earthly life.

I ask daily for this to be my heart, my view, my place I stay. I want to be a Kingdom Builder even if I don't really know who, how or what I helped do for God. I only care that I stay connected to my life source of God the Father, Jesus the Son and the Holy Spirit daily and  sometimes moment by moment it is them I call on to be who they see me as. Not what the world, others, or even some days I see.

Praying for all the"things" that myself and others are dealing with. To remember we have to seek God and ask him to help us be clothed in the wardrobe God picked out not us.

 Just the thoughts of a woman who often feels like a young girl searching for her way in life. God is my King, Deliver, & Mighty help in my time of need. 

Always,

Sonya

The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever.

1John 2:17 

“So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.”  

 I heard a loud voice from the throne. It said, "Now God makes his home with people. He will live with them. They will be his people. And God himself will be with them and be their God.  He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or sadness. There will be no more crying or pain. Things are no longer the way they used to be." He who was sitting on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Then he said, "Write this down. You can trust these words. They are true." Revelation 21:3-5 NIRV

God is Love

My heart breaks for the church and how it so easily becomes a house divided against itself.  When we are jealous FOR someone our motives move from personal pride to concern and care for the other individual. Being jealous for someone brings unity. Unity is the exact opposite of carnal jealousy. In unity we are looking out for the needs of others as well as our own. 

Read: Psalm 133, Ephesians 4:1-7, and Romans 8:31 

I learned of the new Rob Bell book Love Wins at church one Saturday night a while back. I only told my husband and family of the following thoughts that night. But I have decided it is time to share them with others. The main reason is because it is sad how quick to judge Christians are and that is very much NOT the heart of God.

Here are my thoughts from that night I posted on Fb:  

So sad to me when we jump to judge without full awareness of details. I am sure we all have done it before but still sad. Time and a read of the book will tell if the judgment was on target or not. But personally think it just rude ; ) Sonya Feb28

I want to urge and encourage every person who calls themselves a follower of Christ to KNOW who he is and what he says in the Bible. Test everything against the Living and active word of God written in the Bible.

I have not read the book yet, but the fruit of his other books and DVD does not line up with what he is being accused of. Yes, people change but that is not always in a negative fashion. I have been in a bible study and this past week we have been talking about letting the mind of Christ work in our minds. 

Beth Moore points out: We need some divine revelation in our human encounters. Here is the major catch: if we don't know God's Word, we have no way of knowing if what we are sensing is from God or from our own human natures.

As a young child my grandparents and parents instilled with the help of God that if I have not heard, listen, read, or been a firsthand account of a situation then it is best not to judge AT ALL.  It is really sad to me to see and hear how many people I have come in contact with over the last month or so have so hatefully judge this book and worse the person of Rob Bell. They attacked his character, beliefs, church, and Christ very flippantly and very fast. It was a rumor, gossip, and they never even read the book yet.

It would do Christians well to learn what God has to say about judging others. I also think it is interesting that Rob Bell has not retaliated against any of the critics or harsh judgments that I have seen.

For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Matthew 7:2  

Now that the book has come out...I am going to read it and see how it lines up with the word of God.

Food for thought from this blog I read:

http://blog.beliefnet.com/omeoflittlefaith/2011/02/thoughts-rob-bell.html

Grace for the Moment,

Sonya

Gentle Healing

It has been a little bit since I wrote on the blog and I will share a portion of why.  God has really been up to a few things and of course most of Hell was sent to distract, destroy, harm ect… so that my family would not walk in total freedom in a few areas. 

I did not write because I was not really sure what had to do with what. The more I have sought God for His words of truth I can see the partial areas that are going to be healed.  Now this may be a little raw at times. The point is that these things are being healed not completely head yet. So, if I seem punchy, rude, or just don’t make since. Maybe give me a phone call, email or something so you see with your eyes and hear my tone of voice for the real impact. Deal, Deal! 

The beginning of November my oldest daughter was called and went through a series of phone interviews that followed up an application process for The Miss Arkansas Teen pageant in Jan2011. Those gave us 2 months give or take a few holidays and a 16^th birthday party for the same daughter. Oh yeah and that birthday is Dec 24. Yup you read that right.  Then my son birthday is Jan 2 and that is my 18^th anniversary as well.  Get a little of the picture??

Okay, so the unveiling of my hurt heart started a week or so into this process and I did not really know why. And then in a flash a new wound opened up when I heard the news of Mark’s head injury.  You see I have walked a road similar to his mother only my daughter was 6 months old and then finally at 2yrs old Jan 9^th, 1996 she had at the time an experimental surgery to relieve the pressure in her brain. The previous year and a half had been very long and trying but the next 4 years we grueling and very difficult on me, my marriage, my friendships, you name it has been hard.  The whole time knowing she was being healed and that one day we would be able to say she is completely healed! In Jesus name Amen..

She is being healed still. The bad days are very few and most people reading this may even think what wait a minute. I know that kid and she is normal. I say yes God is Healer, Good, Great, Wonderful Marvelous, Powerful, and gentle.  Gentle you might think is odd. Well healing hurts; Hurts bad at times. I am not talking just the physical pain we all watched her go through and preserver.  

I thought that I would be the only one who would have to be healed of the emotional wounds. I am very emotional person. I am very passionate person about everything. This also means I am very isolated a lot of times because I come across as angry even when I am not. This has become a revolving door that I would like to get out of. At the same time I want to remain the original creation God created me to be and not a copy of the person others like to be around.

I guess you see the wound I have given myself…. I also failed to notice that my daughter carries the wounds as well. Even though she was little and we could not change any of the things she had to go through. We also could not protect her tiny emotions from lots of feelings that became wounds because Satan used the circumstances of her life to harm her emotions. He also used this to help me become unstable at times.

PRAISE GOD because he heals, he reveals, he is a pursuer of COMPLETE healing in all areas!!  As I boldly pray for Mark and his family God is walking me through a time of personal healing of wounds I did not know I still had. Strike that ever knew I had. I know Mark is going to be healed; I know God knows when, how and by whom. But Mark will Arise and proclaim the Glory and Power of Our Lord!! I have loved reading the words of faithful Christ followers waiting for complete healing.  I adore the way the family is quick to report each miracle for all to read and know.  I wish I would have written about our God story in a journal. I can only ask God to help me recall what my family needs to hear. It would have been so cool for her to able to read about how God healed her and how many times he provided for us.

This journey has been long and is not yet complete but will be soon.  As I was seeking God about did we hear him right on the pageant? He assured me yes we did. Her participating is His desire that he placed in a young girl’s heart many years ago for such a time as this! I don’t know why or the outcome of the pageant but what I do know is this….

God always finishes what he starts and he started her healing journey on Dec 18^th with a Dr. in NYC and then a surgery performed on Jan 9^th. He remembers me laying her on the alter in obedience to His request and telling Life or Death on that day I would praise His name forever. He loved me and her from the beginning of time.  I willing with a grateful heart handed her over to the surgeon at ACH that day and in a few moments my thoughts began to wonder if she lived will she ever walk, talk, eat, dance, turn 16, get married, have a normal life or would she meet Jesus that day.

I now realize Jesus has been with her every step of the way and he is still walking her through her healing and mine. I am humbled by the facts my Father God has shown me and reminded me of dates.  These are His ways of saying …This is all for you my beloved daughter. I want you to see and experience a taste of the Joy I have you here on earth.  It will be added to one of my greatest days Jan 9^th 2011 to see my daughter on a stage in the Miss Arkansas Teen Pageant. 

God has provided a dress that she stated “I feel beautiful and flawless from the inside out even though I have only showered today.  Mom in No makeup, no fixed hair, and no jewelry I felt flawless! “  As we both welled  up with tears. 

God is so good to me and I cried as those words sunk in….She has always felt flawed. She has a scar that runs down the middle of her head down into the top of her back.  We prayed for her to have grown to cover the scar up and God allowed her hair around the scar to grow but the scar its self has never been able to be covered by hair.  I have always told her it was a reminder of God healing her; it was an honor to have the evidence to show people. 

I don’t think that has helped her over the years but God redeems us and has helped her feel flawless. I can only hope and pray that God help each young girl, woman, child,  young boy, man, and family feel His total love, acceptance,  and healing power in the most gentle of ways he has for us.

I am now going to work on helping her feel special on her 16^th birthday and praying that the people she invites understand the importance of celebrating life! Not just her life but Jesus’ life so we can have life and live it more abundantly!!! I adore and LOVE My Father God who is amazing to me all the time!

All Glory and Praise to God,
Sonya

Begining to Rest....

I have had a strange time this past summer that has not stopped yet. I am in a defining season of rest. I am struggling because I am tired of being sick and not really being able to truly rest. This may be a bit confusing for some of you but for me it is clear.

I am spiritually at rest in most areas and quickly becoming into a healthy place of giving up in general. I am sometimes struggling with my foundational truth of God being out for my good and those who love him. I have trust issues with humans but I can say until recently I have never doubted I could trust God. This was a firm deep foundation for me. So, back at the end of June I had an allergic reaction to an antibiotic. It was very strange reaction that I am still not completely over. I could have only hoped for hives : ) 

Our family has walked through one thing after another with me always holding deeply to my faith and trust in God, not man, but God. About a month ago we had a situation come up and I have been very vocal to my family and husband about what I felt God was speaking to me but decided to trust a mere man and submit as many Christian women have pointed out that they feel I lack the ability to do this and there for my husband was not becoming the leader God wants or needs him to be. 

I have struggled because I have such a deep walk with my Father God that I obey and not question. Like I said, I trust Him without question. So, I decided about 5 years ago to start walking in complete abandon to letting my husband lead even if that meant I or the kids get hurt. This had been easy and very hard at the same time. Some days I get it right and well some EPIC FAIL.

So, I was faced with I want to encourage and support each one of my family while being completely obedient to God. Not easy by any stretch of the imagination. You see I am intense, passionate, and very detailed and very deeply obedient to God. (by the way that does mean I struggle with obeying man)...which equals the struggle with what I thought submissions was.

God did use this time to say okay submit with full heart and know that if husband walks in light of listening to your conversation then it will be fine. If not then you will all 5 be taught a very hard lesson in trust and obedience.  Well, the later is what we are walking. The strange part, is as this has unfolded over the past month I have been deeply shaken, grieved, and learned that I did hear God right for my family, I did submit to my husband even when I passionately told him what I felt, I did submit to God when I was able to say that none of this is from my disobedience. It has been used for good but at a very deep painful price for many people.

I can say that none of us are perfect, all people hurt, sometimes even God allows the wound to bring a deep trust and healing in someone you love. But the price of that was a new found pain I never want anyone to know but then at the time I want each Christ follower to experience it in some way. I can very confidently say I understand for the first time what Jesus felt on the cross. I had never been able to comprehend that but I fully was allowed to feel a very small portion of it. This was used as a means to tech my husband what it meant to be one with me in my passion, deep trust of God, and love me for who God created me to be.

You see my family and most people I have ever met use the same words to describe me. I must say it hurts and is why I have not made very many close friends. But on the flip side I have never doubted my friendship and trust in Jesus and my Father God! That is in direct reflection of the words people use to describe me. I always wanted to change. I have even tried to over the years and had pastors, mentors encourage me that God is who really wanted these changes in me.

I can say today that God LOVES and CREATED me just the way I am:

• Intense
• passionate
• obeys God not Man
• Intimidating
• Overwhelming
• Speaks the heart even when wrong or hurt.

Always desire to bring everything to the light and have a husband who is stronger than me. I have never wanted to become less of who God created me to be for my husband to feel stronger. I always encouraged him to find out who God really created him to be. 

I am a typical human who deeply desire intimate relationships. I desire a wonderful marriage, I desire great friendships, but I can no longer go after these things while changing who God created me to be. I am Sonya and I will not change who God loves for anything less than God himself. I know how I desire to be loved, cared for, and even the area of ministry I desire to walk in for my God. I have decided that I am needed to rest in this. It is time for God to break off the world from me. I willingly went in directions and changed the essence of which God himself created to make people feel better about themselves. That is in direct contradiction of what God has created me to be.

I have learned during this time that sometime things have to be cut off to bear even great fruit. Pruning hurts and heals. It makes us feel the deepest hurts and new pain so you remain deeper in God. I have had my foundation shaken to the very core. I am stronger, more whole, and have more testimony by which to use to overcome the evil one when that time comes.  I may start to seem different to those who barely know me, I may seem to have gone backwards to those who think they know me, but to my Father who created me I am embracing my destiny and who He sees me as. I am even more confident in my total trust of God. I may not understand the way things that hurt at the core can actually be used for the good of those who love God. But I trust God will show us when we join him how it actually was good for us or someone else who loves God.

I am so pleased to say God has allowed my foundation to shake but it uncovered the unshakable Truth that I am God's and He is mine. I am a wife who is beginning to be embraced by her husband. I am a wife starting to see small glimpse of the real man God created my husband to be. I can only wait and rest until my husband can freely walk in who God made him to be. Then and only then will we be able to minister as The One Body in Christ as a couple God designed and built up in the word of life!

I am resting physically while God allows double ear infections and generally tired body for the last 6 months begin to heal. Knowing that somehow this is good for me or someone in my family because God's word is true always.

Listening for God,
SONYA

God is Challenging my ways....

Okay, So, I have been challenged by God to reevaluate my FB friends who I accepted based on we go to the same church or they know a few of my friends or I went to High school with....I let them into my life but should I? Are they the people in real life I would spend my spare time with? Do I even know where they live? Could I call them if I needed?

We teach our kids that being Christ like, loving like, and serving like Christ is wonderful. It is what we are created to be. We also teach them that who you spend your spare time with is who you let speak into your life. What are they speaking? Do you like listening? Do they lead you to Christ and the Word of God? Do they build you and in turn you build them. Is the Kingdom growing because of this relationship? Are you changed for the better? Are you challenged for the better? What is the real fruit?

Right now I don't have a clear answer. Some in my family argue that I may be building while gaining nothing from those who look at my FB. But I say is this God's way for me. Should I have a separate one for those I choose to have a deeper friendship with? I have learned you cannot share all your struggles with just any one. It has to be a friend who is helping you sharpen in Christ and you them in Christ. Someone God chooses to build each of you during the friendship, fun times, low time and the all out war times. Someone who makes you better in the battle for Gods Life.

 Proverbs 27:17 You use steel to sharpen steel, and one friend sharpens another.

 But then I read in Matthew Chapter 5 about Salt and Light.... and loving your enemies... When reading the message version of this chapter I was hit square in the eye about what I have been teaching the kids. I want them to reach the world but not become the world. I truly believe there has to be a balance.

Our family is going through a fire, a war, a persecution of sorts, and we have been shaken to the very core of our foundation in Christ. I have found that God is my solid rock on which no matter what I cannot be torn from. He is who I run to in prayer for strength, comfort, and my creative identity. He loves, lifts, restores, repairs, forgives, and make us back into right standing in a moment! All we have to do is come to him and let him be who is and has been for all of eternity. Savior, Redeemer, Light, Love, Comfort, Friend, Counselor.


We found out who those people are who speak life from God into us and those who will not speak to you when a war rages at your door. The sad part is we consistently sought God and begged Him to bring all things to Light and His Love to bring forth His Glory in the end of all the junk.

God did just that at a very rapid speed. We have been shaken, in despair, completely heartbroken, grief like never before and can say God never left but always upheld us. We are a stronger individuals and a stronger family all because we look to God and not man for our identity.This is the truth of the current situation.

So, I am going to keep the FB just the way it is and remember to go to God FIRST, and PRAY keeping my eyes and heart focused on Heaven so that I may not fall into a sin trap set up by evil but be God's Light and Salt in spite of the world. I will leave you with this verse that God used to smack me back into the Light and out of hiding who God is to me and what he wants from my life. 

^{Matthew 5:48}"In a word, what I'm saying is, Grow up. You're kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you."

I adore and LOVE My Father God who is amazing to me all the time!
Sonya