None but Jesus Set me FREE!

Well, it has been an interesting few months or more since I posted on here.  I don't even know where to start or end really. So this will be fairly short I think. I am up reflecting on some different things tonight.

I can only sit here with Jesus at the feet of the Father, asking and begging to just be all He desires, all He created for me to be, and not to let Satan come in and destroy all the work Jesus has done in the months past. You know the months that so much has happen and I can't really find the correct words to convey. I know that I am being sifted like wheat. Somehow that does bring a comfort I can't explain. God is so great to me.

I will just sit here. I declare that all these afflictions are nailed to the cross and will not define anything about who I am, who I will be or who I am created to be. God will fight this battle on my behalf everyday. He will care for me. The video below is a very healing song to my heart! I love to praise and I do give Jesus all the Glory God! I can't wait to see this happen again in a wonderful venue just like when I sat and was restored by Jesus!

It is truth restoring happens in the Bible and it is still for today, in an even more powerful way than before. Ask, wait, and receive this from the Father's Feet let Heaven Come! I am WORTH rescuing, I declare we are each worth rescue, worth the fight, worth the finished work of the cross and the resurrected Jesus, My Savior Redeemer, Mighty Warrior, and Friend who I love and adore with more than I can even begin to understand.

With a Grateful Heart full of knowing my value, worth, and all of my identity established rooted in Jesus.
Not perfect but definitely in love with the mighty warrior and King Jesus. I pray you each can find yourself completely consumed by this same lover and perfection who we are made created to live with in Eternity.
Oh, this depths of which he has loved me. The depths of which he has gone to redeem and rescue me. The cross that He endure for every one of our mistakes, sins, sickness, faults, ect... I can't truly comprehend or even adequately explain.

 So I pray you hear Him knocking and asking to come and do the same for you! He is gentle, kind and true. Faithful to complete every good and pleasing work that He starts. Lean in and rest while learning to give Him complete trust, love, & control of every outcome and action.

Sonya

Jesus, be near to me, wash over me today

November 1, 2011

I am having one of those days when I want and need more. More of God, More of the Holy Spirit, More of Jesus and just plain more…. 

More Time, health, energy, obedience, discipline, joy, love, patience, worship, grace, mercy, and words.

Funny how some times we just feel like we don’t have whatever it is that we need and then we seem to get stuck in the waiting and desiring the more.Well, that is where I am stuck in the wait and I am not waiting very well today with grace, love and all compassion with the mind of Christ.  I am not sure but I bet I am not the only woman or even person for that matter that sometimes looks and feels like a jerk in the wait….

It is moments like these that I am so glad the God is in control and that He is Father who loves, is dependable, gracious, kind, loving, merciful, and is the I AM! I worship you God and lay down all of myself, I surrender myself and my thoughts, my life my all to you my God and defender of what you have desired and called me forth to be. I will rise when you say rise and I will wait as long as you wait. Lord, I ask that you help me to keep my eyes focused on you and you alone during this time. I need you more and more every day! I love you lord and I am fully surrender and devoted to you and the plans you have for me and my house. I will serve you Lord all the days of my life!

I am going to let the Joy rise up and worship you today my King! I am nothing without you and I defer to you, I yield to you, I know that you want me to prosper and you have a path and you will make my path to your place straight and narrow! I love you. I am yours. I am you beloved and daughter whom you are well pleased. I ask that you help me to forgive myself for all the ways and areas that I have failed you and my family. I ask that you help me to renew and fix my focus on you and you alone, Lord. Please Father show us the way you wish for us to walk out our life for you to be brought Glory on earth. I need you Lord more now than ever. Please refine me with your consuming fire, so that I may please you in all my ways. 

For our God [is indeed] a consuming fire. Hebrews 12:29 (AMP)

Guide me, Father I long for more of you fill me up to overflowing only your spirit. Thank You for never letting me go and always keeping me close to you. I will wait and keep breathing You in Jesus.

Sonya

Nevertheless,

“‘Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security." Jeremiah 33:3





I have not written about what all God did on my birthday back in September, it was so wonderful and amazing that I really am still trying to find the right adequate words. I can say that over that day I was healed a little deeper, I was reminded of past dreams, reminded of past healing, reminded of past longings, reminded of past victories and refresh , renewed, and encouraged in so many ways.

It is funny how even when trying to explain I will say for my birthday John & Staci Eldredge led me through inner healing, Joyce Myers spoke to me, God sang over me, God celebrated my LIFE, and God threw me a party and 15,000 other women got to attend. That is how much God did to overwhelm me with my worth to Him. I am not usually at a loss for words but I really am struggling to explain what I know God said, showed, and did for me. I am going to try and just embrace that I understand and that for now I can't really share the present with others.

Jeremiah is one of those books in the Bible that always had my heart captured. I am not really sure why but I fell in love with Chapter 33 as a young child. I am going to wait for my birth into the follower of Jesus that he sees me as already. I am needing healing and He is always faithful to give me what I need in the right time I need it. I will never stop pressing into you Father. I am going to finish this life with a love that is so deep for you that if anyone ever hates me it is okay, I am going to live my life completely oblivious to the ways I am being judged and persecuted. 


Please Father, Help me to give my whole heart, mind, and life completely staying surrender to you. Help me to never stop talking about you. Helping never to care if I offend people. Help me to never worry about making people uncomfortable when they are around me because YOU shine so brightly. I beg and lay down before you complely surrender and broken with no strength of my own before your feet right now. Lord, help me remember the way you are asking me to become new in progigal grace. I want to always embrace you as a daughter who is completely broken and beautiful with you living in me teaching me extravagant love.

This life that I am living is from you. I want to surrender to all you want to teach me in the journey. I understand I am being birthed into a new Sonya. I am in the transition stage which is very difficult, I don't want to stop or quit but my stupid flesh is screaming this is not worth it and it will never be different. Please Lord, send your Holy Spirit for another Holy Intervention on my behalf. I wan t to finish this with you telling me well done my faithful daughter. I am growing up into a follower of Jesus who only desire is to be a reflection of the image of Christ I was born to be.

I have told My Savior King, Yes Lord I will be completley surrendared to you. I am laying it all down even the things you have shown me you want to accomplish in my life and the life of those I love. I know that you are my friend, redeemer, savior, King, Prince of Peace and Lover. So teach me to love you well Lord nothing else really matters. Nothing else will be lasting in eternity except I have loved and obey you my friend and Lord. You love me so deeply keep me overwhelmed by that love and peace. Holy Spirit Intervene on my behalf and the behalf of all those I want to know you intimately.

Fill me up, Lord is all I can continue to ask with my heart laid opened and expectant to be filled with all of you Father so that everything about me flows deep and wide with Jesus! I am still such a sinner full of junk, I am so sorry for all the times I disappoint you and I just need you to teach me, train me, and build me up in your heart and truth, Lord.

Sonya

But God and his Holy Intervention

Holy Intervention for my Birthday

Father, I Thank you for all the wonderful blessing you have given to me .I know that this has been a long journey toward “this” place I am today.  You have encouraged me to come away and be refreshed, renewed, and lavishly loved.  I stepped out in faith and you met me right there.

Last night as I mulled over why did I have to be alone a woman’s conference. Why would I gain new insight into your heart and only have Darrell to share it with at the end of the night. You know the same person who hears almost all of my thoughts anyway. I was so selfish and silly to think why even bother coming.  You know how I have prayed to be a different, more normal person. I have struggled with desiring a friend other than you and Darrell who completely loved those parts of me that since young child have been the things about me no one liked. I mean even it bugged me.

We arrived in St. Louis and I changed to go straight to the arena 30 minutes before time. I walked with a group of 4 generations of family. My mind thought how cool that would have been. I even thought oh well that can never happen, just move on Sonya.

They asked me to sit with them but I could not find a seat for just me. I was good with that and proceeded to look for a seat for just me. You see I came expectant for God to show up and love on me. He created me and knows just what I need.  A volunteer let me sit as her friend in the section reserved for staff of Joyce Myers.

Father, you always lavishly love me and give me exactly what I need even if it is in an arena filled with thousands of women. I knew you had talked with me about being alone in worship and healing with you this weekend. Little did I know or could have even dreamed of you meaning more than just what I thought that meant.  Silly me thought oh, I could not find anyone to come with me so I am alone.

God has the most hysterical sense of humor. The staff only sat there for a few songs and left. I only had one women sitting next to me for a short time. She was a volunteer so she had duties to perform. Every time God came into heal another small part of me she was gone. I sat in an arena  worshiped my Father in heaven and with  2 rows in front of me and no one beside me for 20 chairs over, no one behind me it was a platform to the next level. ALONE with my creator! He so gently healed and revealed the most wonderful worship that healed my soul.

I was not sure what kind of worship would be here, I had never heard Israel Houston. He lavishly brings worship to the throne of God. I felt alone and loved every second of it!!! Joyce had said that when preparing for this audience the spirit revealed it to be a stubborn one. So he gave her the message about the “but God” phrase throughout the bible. I am pleased to say that I have now had another but God moment. Funny how I had been part of them before and not even understood.

The most precious moment of healing came when she said God has a statement for someone and after you hear this you will be healed and able to really just go home. You will have received what he desires for you. Get over your parts of yourself that bug even you. There are things that others have said to get rid of and you agreed thinking no one likes that. Make Peace with God created you even the parts that bug you and others.

Okay, so she talked about many different places in scripture where something was going on but God was the phrase used when he came through for them. You will not be restored doing things our way. Blessings are often mixed with my bondage. Sometimes it is the very bondage that sets you free and you don’t even smell like smoke.

The verse that says the devil has come to steal, kill and destroy; BUT GOD has come to give you life and life more abundantly. We have to fully surrender to God. In Daniel they were loosed while in the fiery furnace. You will not be restored doing your own thing your way.

1 Peter 5:5 Say Goodbye to yourself, so God can love us and we can do what he wants us to do. We need to humble ourselves before God and surrender our whole self. Surrender everything that bugs you and bugs others.  Make peace with yourself. Isaiah 27:5

All I want is what you want God. If you can’t be happy when you don’t have what you want then you will never be happy when you get what you want.

Luke14:31

But God can do whatever we need. When you have a battle to fight you need to look to God, say goodbye to self. God has different standards He chooses what the world would throw away. He chooses what even Christians leaders would not choose.

I am going to continue to be a severely cracked pot. You see the perfect vessel or pot does not allow the light to shine out or through. But God shines through all my cracks in the pot.

I am so thankful and grateful that the word surrender has been part of mine and the Father’s conversations for a few years now. Last night I surrender who everyone thinks I should be, who I thought I should be and came out a severely cracked pot but God restored, renewed, refreshed, regained, and redeemed me back to who He formed in my mother’s womb.

I am not a crier but God moved in such a profoundly deep way at redeeming that which I thought was lost. I could only cry as my heart and soul connected in a way that I remembered from childhood.

I may not fit into anyone’s standards but God’s and I am totally okay with being this alone!

I can’t even imagine what God is going to bless me with today on the day of my birth as His daughter he created for such a time as a BUT God moment yet to be written in this woman’s world.

I love and adore the Father even more, so if you don’t like the woman I come back as, well, I am completely surrendered But God with comfort, encourage and refresh me as I keep going to him in my need.  2cornithians 7:5-6

Life comes out of the death experience when you let BUT GOD deliberately choose and select what the world and even the Christian world thinks if foolish.

I am God’s daughter and fully surrender my all, everything to just stay in the but God moment I had last night.

Expectant for more of you Father today on my earthly birthday! I love being healed and restored and now I wait for a Holy Intervention with a flood of all Alone and fully surrender to my Savior and King

Man does God know how to give the best Birthday party to celebrate LIFE : ) He is my redeemer  in this death experience  called Life and Life more abundantly!

Hungry for more, waiting to be filled up to overflowing,

Sonya

Praying for Ross

Day 92 post-transplant.  Ross' oxygen level overnight continued to worsen, even on the ventilator.  His lung disease is getting worse.  We are now at the point where we are running out of options.  We could do a lung biopsy, but at this point those results would either show that a virus is involved, or that this is GVHD.  If a virus is involved, the doctors agree that it has progressed too far to even reverse.  That being said, there is no sign that this is a virus, all signs are pointing to GVHD of the lungs.  We really only have a couple of more options in treating the GVHD.  One option is to go even higher on the steroid doses, and the second option is to add a medication called Campath.  Ross' doctors are working overtime.  If these two changes to his treatment don't do the job, then his health is literally in God's hands, which may be the best course of treatment anyway.  Ross was switched from the ventilator to a machine called an oscilator this afternoon.  The ventilator could no longer keep his oxygen saturation at an acceptable level.  We are continuing to pray that Ross is going to be proof that miracles happen.  We just need that miracle to happen pretty soon because we are running out of time.  Written by Chris Elliott 

My heart cries out for Mark and Ross

 I am pouring out my heart and prayers again on the behalf of Miracle Mark and Precious Ross. They are both still needing different healing touches from the Father tonight. Both have families who are faithful to the kingdom and giving thanks for every milestone they have reached. Mark has made huge healing strides over the last 9 months and his mom's faithful thankfulness inspires anyone who reads the caring bridge or meets their family. 

For Ross his 8 month journey has been a tough battle but reading how sweet of a fighter he has been is beyond words. He carries hope eternal from the Father into each person he meets on his journey.  I am glad that families facing these difficult times have a way to update all those who care in one place.

God is using the tools of the internet to spread the recording of His healing power, His peoples praises and hope even during difficult times. When Kimber was in the battle if I wanted to update it was by phone or if I got home an email. It was difficult to keep up with her needs and ask for prayer and give praise.

So it is on that note that I share the prayer of my heart for these 2 young men:

Father, I come boldly to your throne of grace on behalf of Ross and his family.
Because you have instructed us in your Word to pray for one another that we may be healed.

I pray for healing and wholeness for Ross and Mark. I pray that sickness and infirmity will have no place or power in his life. I pray against any infection or disease coming into his body, your Word says" He sent his Word and healed them. "(Psalm 107:20)

Where ever there is disease, illness or infirmity in his body, I pray and ask you Lord that you would touch him with your healing power and restore him to total health. Give the doctors wisdom and full knowledge of the best way to proceed.

Thank you Lord that you suffered and died for us so that we might be healed. I lay claim to that heritage of healing which you have promised in your Word and provide to all who believe. I thank you father and look to you for your will be done. In your son Jesus Name Amen, Amen

Isaiah 58:8, James 5:16, Malachi 4:2


The prayer above is from the Power of a Praying Parent...By Stormie Omartian
God has gifted her the words straight from him for me to agree and speak out load over my family and any other person God lays on my heart to pray for. When the burning to pray wells up and I lack the words I go to her prayer books to get me started. I am truly seeking God and laying the family of new friend from Missouri at the feet of Jesus. I am so thankful to stand in the gap for her precious grandson.

As I know someone had to of done the same for Kimber when she was his age. I also believe in Jesus's Name bringing healing, speak His name and surround the room and even hospital that Ross is in with the ministering angles to guard and protect Ross from any evil that comes to devour, kill, steal or destroy Ross, his parents and extended family and friends.

We must all remember that this battle is spiritual as well as physical. We as the body of Christ need each other. Continue to play the sounds of worship and healing over those who are ill. In the old testament the worshipers always went before the warriors to prepare the atmosphere for battle. I like to play the healing sounds from Julie True Soaking Worship.

Right now, why don’t you remove all the distractions around you, close your eyes, and just take a few minutes to soak in God’s Presence. Don’t just listen to the words that are being sung, but let them be an expression of your own heart. Let go of all your worries, turn off the question machine in your head, and just let God wash over you with His Healing Love. 

http://julietrue.com/online-healing-room

Relax, everything’s going to be all right;
Rest, everything’s coming together;
Open your hearts, love is on the way!
~ From the Message, pg. 515

 Always in Love with My Savior and King,

Sonya

Attitude of my Changing Heart

Lots going on with so many of our friends and our family not bad, horrible, or even terrible. Just many attempts by the enemy to get us off track in our mood, thoughts, emotions, and actions. 

Stand Firm, Pray, Worship, Thankful to God for all the blessings & trials in the life. God is good, faithful, loving, rescuer, provider, redeemer, & Savior. 

Life is a journey & mine never ends I will praise & worship in heaven for eternity!

I am up praying for so many who are facing different trials in this season. I am facing some of the same trials I faced almost 12 years ago. I am praying and trying so much more faithful to stay tuned into the Father and looking to him to be Radiant Grace with comfort and keep mind in a healthy attitude of thankfulness for being a child of the Most High God. I do fail at this sometimes but I get back up and go for it again.

I look around and think of how without Jesus and the protection, grace, mercy, and boundless love from the Father I would be like some people who have no hope. This world will bring you down and destroy you if that is where you reside. The darkness cannot be your focus. You must focus on the LIGHT and love from the father. Then you will be able to stand and not be destroyed. Even though some may look at me  or other around you and think whatever they have it great.

I can assure you we have trials, trouble and bad moods, bad days, bad moments, and yes even what some would call tragedy. We may even call it that but then we gather ourselves back up to the chest of the Savior and it changes our view and perspective.  I may never know or understand why I have endured the many different things I have endured. I may never see or know the fruit of how I have affected a life. I can only know that God my Father keeps saving and loving on me and it has to have a purpose. And knowing that is good enough for me.

Even if I never the cool story or the ripple I help Him create. As long as I keep leaning in to listen to what the Father is saying and doing my best to be and do what the Father wants me to do. Then I can count it all Joy in Heaven for eternity when it will all come into very Perfect view and I will see and know why he asked the things he asked me do. Why I had to endure the pain, suffering, loss and trials of this earthly life.

I ask daily for this to be my heart, my view, my place I stay. I want to be a Kingdom Builder even if I don't really know who, how or what I helped do for God. I only care that I stay connected to my life source of God the Father, Jesus the Son and the Holy Spirit daily and  sometimes moment by moment it is them I call on to be who they see me as. Not what the world, others, or even some days I see.

Praying for all the"things" that myself and others are dealing with. To remember we have to seek God and ask him to help us be clothed in the wardrobe God picked out not us.

 Just the thoughts of a woman who often feels like a young girl searching for her way in life. God is my King, Deliver, & Mighty help in my time of need. 

Always,

Sonya

The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever.

1John 2:17 

“So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.”  

 I heard a loud voice from the throne. It said, "Now God makes his home with people. He will live with them. They will be his people. And God himself will be with them and be their God.  He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or sadness. There will be no more crying or pain. Things are no longer the way they used to be." He who was sitting on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Then he said, "Write this down. You can trust these words. They are true." Revelation 21:3-5 NIRV