I have not written about what all God did on my birthday back in September, it was so wonderful and amazing that I really am still trying to find the right adequate words. I can say that over that day I was healed a little deeper, I was reminded of past dreams, reminded of past healing, reminded of past longings, reminded of past victories and refresh , renewed, and encouraged in so many ways.
It is funny how even when trying to explain I will say for my birthday John & Staci Eldredge led me through inner healing, Joyce Myers spoke to me, God sang over me, God celebrated my LIFE, and God threw me a party and 15,000 other women got to attend. That is how much God did to overwhelm me with my worth to Him. I am not usually at a loss for words but I really am struggling to explain what I know God said, showed, and did for me. I am going to try and just embrace that I understand and that for now I can't really share the present with others.
Jeremiah is one of those books in the Bible that always had my heart captured. I am not really sure why but I fell in love with Chapter 33 as a young child. I am going to wait for my birth into the follower of Jesus that he sees me as already. I am needing healing and He is always faithful to give me what I need in the right time I need it. I will never stop pressing into you Father. I am going to finish this life with a love that is so deep for you that if anyone ever hates me it is okay, I am going to live my life completely oblivious to the ways I am being judged and persecuted.
Please Father, Help me to give my whole heart, mind, and life completely staying surrender to you. Help me to never stop talking about you. Helping never to care if I offend people. Help me to never worry about making people uncomfortable when they are around me because YOU shine so brightly. I beg and lay down before you complely surrender and broken with no strength of my own before your feet right now. Lord, help me remember the way you are asking me to become new in progigal grace. I want to always embrace you as a daughter who is completely broken and beautiful with you living in me teaching me extravagant love.
This life that I am living is from you. I want to surrender to all you want to teach me in the journey. I understand I am being birthed into a new Sonya. I am in the transition stage which is very difficult, I don't want to stop or quit but my stupid flesh is screaming this is not worth it and it will never be different. Please Lord, send your Holy Spirit for another Holy Intervention on my behalf. I wan t to finish this with you telling me well done my faithful daughter. I am growing up into a follower of Jesus who only desire is to be a reflection of the image of Christ I was born to be.
I have told My Savior King, Yes Lord I will be completley surrendared to you. I am laying it all down even the things you have shown me you want to accomplish in my life and the life of those I love. I know that you are my friend, redeemer, savior, King, Prince of Peace and Lover. So teach me to love you well Lord nothing else really matters. Nothing else will be lasting in eternity except I have loved and obey you my friend and Lord. You love me so deeply keep me overwhelmed by that love and peace. Holy Spirit Intervene on my behalf and the behalf of all those I want to know you intimately.
Fill me up, Lord is all I can continue to ask with my heart laid opened and expectant to be filled with all of you Father so that everything about me flows deep and wide with Jesus! I am still such a sinner full of junk, I am so sorry for all the times I disappoint you and I just need you to teach me, train me, and build me up in your heart and truth, Lord.
Sonya
